chocola's writing

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A Horrible Thing-Draft two

There are four little boys playing in the park. One of them is called Jack who is mischievous. He thinks that it is fun to climb a tree,so he decides to climb the tree which is next to the ceramic water jar. And he doesn’t pay attention while climbing it. Suddenly, Jack falls down carelessly into the jar which is not only large but deep. Everyone is frightened and nervous. They don’t know how to do it. At that time, two of them think that they can carry the stone to break the jar to save him. So they carry the stone quickly. And they throw the stone at the jar. Fortunately, the jar is broken and Jack is saved successfully. What a happy ending .From then on, Jack swears that he won’t do it again because it is such a horrible experience!

1 Comments:

Blogger gimliong said...

There are four little boys playing in the park. One of them is called Jack. He is very mischievous and thinks that it is fun to climb a tree, so he decides to climb the tree which is next to a ceramic water jar. He doesn’t pay attention while climbing it. Suddenly, Jack falls down carelessly into the jar which is not only large but deep. Everyone is frightened and nervous. They don’t know what to do. At that time, two of them think that they can carry a big stone to break the jar to save him. Therefore, they carry the stone quickly, and they throw the stone at the jar. Fortunately, the jar is broken and Jack is saved successfully. What a happy ending .From then on, Jack swears that he won’t do it again because it is such a horrible experience!

It's better to write in past tense.過去式

1:29 AM  

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